Debbie on the Red Carpet

Debbie's winning essay for the Pond's Forty and Fabulous contest.

Graduate college. Start a career. Work hard. Work out. Get married. Buy a house. Make more money. Get promoted. That was me in my twenties and thirties. And through it all, I was smart, sexy and beautiful!

OK, now fast forward to my forties…

Learn to paint. Buy a huge trampoline. Write a book. Take a yoga class. Write another book. Belly dance. Join a meditation group. Start my own company. And yes, I’m still smart, sexy and beautiful!

So, what’s different? One thing—JOY!!!! In my forties, I don’t do things because someone else thinks I should or because of the money or status. I do things that make me happy. That means, being myself no matter what the situation, dancing like a wild woman no matter who’s watching, and laughing at my failures no matter what people may think.

And guess what? When I’m that comfortable on the inside, my beauty, confidence and sex appeal is naturally projected on the outside.

In my twenties and thirties I learned how to win and be successful by society’s measures. In my forties, I learned how to win and be successful by my own measures. But the best lesson I learned was that life is meant to be enjoyed. I am here to be happy! It took me forty years to learn that lesson, but it’s a keeper. And I try to live in joy every day…while I’m being smart, sexy and beautiful, of course!

Debbie's Q&A for the Pond's 40 and Fabulous Contest

What’s your favorite pump-yourself-up song?

Any song that makes me want to dance pumps me up! I especially love the 70’s funk sound. One of my favorites is “Dance to the Music” by Sly and The Family Stone.

Which well-known person, alive or not, do you most admire? Why?

Oprah Winfrey. I know…I know…not a big surprise to choose her, but I really do admire her! On the one hand, she’s this everyday, approachable woman with a huge heart, and on the other hand, she’s the most influential woman in the world. She’s overcome challenges in her life and has shared her soul with millions of people. I truly believe her personal mission is to help others.

If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? Who would you go with?

Egypt to see the pyramids. I’m fascinated with Egyptian history. I have Egyptian paintings on papyrus in my house as well as many pyramid-like items. The triangle is my favorite shape!

I’d go with my husband, Joe, who’s my best friend. We always have lots of fun traveling together.

Do you have a personal mantra? What is it?

Yes.

“Don’t Worry, Be Happy…and Laugh a Lot (even if you don’t feel like it)!”

What is your most meaningful physical possession and why?

I don’t attach much meaning to things. After losing several close family members, I realized personal possessions don’t matter much. Today, what’s most meaningful to me are the people in my life—my family and friends.

What do you cherish most?

My friendships, particularly with my husband, Joe, my sister, Angela, and all my inspiring girlfriends. They are my lifeline, and I’m so grateful to have them all in my life.

What is the first thing you’d say people notice about you when they first meet you?

My smile and friendliness which immediately makes people feel comfortable, as if they’ve known me forever.

What are you most proud of?

Everyone says they want to write a book, but most people never get around to it. I’ve written two so far! My first one, Vita’s Will, Real Life Lessons about Life, Death and Moving On, was a cathartic experience. My second, The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss, was an Amazon.com best seller.

Complete this sentence: Beauty is a state of mind—a spark from within. If you feel beautiful on the inside, you’ll naturally project beauty on the outside.

What item of clothing could you not live without? Why?

Whatever I bought last! I love fashion, clothes and shopping. I clean out my closets twice a year and donate whatever I don’t want anymore. I get excited to wear a brand new outfit for the first time!

What is your favorite:

Color: Hard to choose because I love all colors! If I had to narrow it down to a few, I’d say purple, lime green, red and orange. Oh, and I love black and white together.

Ice Cream Flavor: Coffee Gelato. Ironic because I rarely drink coffee. Gelato because I’m Italian and one trip to Italy got me hooked!

Musical Artist: Melinda Doolittle. She has an incredible voice; can sing any genre of music; is spirited, humble, and a joy to watch! I can’t wait to buy her first CD!

Book/Author: The DaVinci Code/Dan Brown. The historical references about the importance of women, who were considered Goddesses really resonated with me.

Movie: “It’s a Wonderful Life” because it really is. I watch it every year.

TV Show: Current: “Ugly Betty” Past: “Bewitched” Two strong woman who can make anything happen!

Activity: Eating delicious food!

Flower: Sunflowers. They’re so happy…they make me smile!

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

I NEVER feel guilty about pleasure! I just enjoy it, especially if it involves food!

What did you do on your 40th birthday?

I threw a party at a Mexican restaurant for 40 of my closest friends and family.

What do you want to be doing on your 50th birthday?

I’m sure I’ll be celebrating with friends and family, and that food, music, dancing, and a whole lot of fun will be part of it.

What’s the best mistake you ever made?

I once tripped and fell outside a client’s building. I was young, ambitious and very serious. Naturally, I was mortified. Then I looked up and saw myself in the building’s mirrored glass exterior. There I was laying the ground with a broken heel, ripped hose and gravel stuck to my palms. Suddenly I burst out laughing! That’s when I realized work wasn’t meant to be taken so seriously, and neither was my life. Once you lighten up, life gets a lot easier.

What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done?

I eloped. I skipped what could’ve been “My Big Fat Italian Wedding” and traded it in for an intimate and stress-free celebration for two.

What is the best thing about being in your 40s?

Being able to enter and win the Pond’s 40’s and Fabulous contest! And of course, being comfortable and confident with who I am inside and out, and not worrying about who or what society says I should be. In my 40’s I’m living life on my own terms and enjoying every minute of it!

What have you discovered about yourself now that you are in your 40s that you didn’t know about yourself when you were younger?

That I could overcome incredible challenges. That I could be happy inside regardless of what’s happening outside of me. That I could please myself without having to please everyone else. That I could laugh at my failures and move on. That I could feel young and beautiful in my 40’s. That I could make a difference in other people’s lives. That I could be me not matter what the situation.

What is the most important thing anyone has ever said to you? Who said it?

“I LOVE YOU” from my then boyfriend who has been my husband now for 19 years.

What advice would you give to women who are about to turn 40?

Love more. Laugh more. Play more. Forgive more. Judge less (especially yourself).

Fill in the blank: I think everyone should fall in love
at least once in their lives.

Do you have a mentor? If so, tell us how you met him/her, what they’ve taught you, etc.

I can’t say I have only one mentor because I have been inspired and supported by many people in my life from family to friends to teachers to co-workers. I consider them all to be mentors because mentors teach, and I learn something from everyone I meet.

Are you a mentor to someone? If so, tell us about that.

Yes, my 8-year-old niece, Sydney. She imitates everything I say and do! Need I say more?

What won’t you do now that you would have done in your 20s?

Ski down a black diamond run covered with ice on a freezing cold day just because I can. It wasn’t fun then and it isn’t now! I guess I’ve gotten smarter about choosing fun over freezing!